Spork should get testosterone injections and a machine gun to replace her forearm. - Someone poked you in the eye and you didn't engage them in a brutal act of comedic violence?!

I would have broken a bottle and stabbed them in the gut before even identifying whether it was actually them or not. Then I would have stamped on their face and neck repeatedly while screaming "whos the fucking daddy now - huh!".

Y'all motherfuckers have all written more entries than me.

Dang.

I love autumn

Leaves on trees turn gold and brown
And fall and fade away

Warm sun gives way
To cold and wind and rain

That blows around my knees
And finds my fingers cold and flayed

Pretty girls with cheeks that glow
Pressed hard against the winters cold

In my snowy footsteps she did lead
Full is her mouth with my salty seed

Gum chewing's fine when it's once in a while It stops you from smoking and brightens your smile But it's repulsive, revolting and wrong Chewing and chewing all day long The way that a cow does

What do you get from a glut of TV A pain in the neck and an IQ of three Why don't you try simply reading a book Or could you just not bear to look You'll get no You'll get no You'll get no You'll get no You'll get no commercials

Anyway enough lip flapping, time to drink some of that bourbon.

To top it off, one of them accosted me in the street this morning asking me to sign for another parcel for my brother, by the time I had told him to fuck off, I had missed my bus and had to get a god damn taxi in to work. (which only cost £12 so thats OK).