NewWorldOdour: List

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spork	[no subject]	Wed 29th Nov 2000, 15:59 link
Wasting time in another constructive way, I've been on thespark page again (my god, we give it a lot of publicity here) and I have found out that I am 46% bitch (14% more than LydiaBushGrrl). Okay, so I am 46% bitch and 48% slut - therefore, I must be the type of gal who'll sleep with you, then say you are crap in bed. Ahhh well.
spork	[no subject]	Thu 30th Nov 2000, 12:18 link
Have just had a Laughing Cow Cheez Dipper (buy one get one free at the moment in Morrisons). It was okay but afterwards I am worried because it is not cheese, it is cheez. Wonder if substance has ever been near a cow, laughing or otherwise, or whether it is entirely chemical, created from by products of North Sea oil. Wonder if there will be another varient of CJD caused by not mad but showing-signs-of-amusement cows. Mmmmm.
spork	[no subject]	Thu 30th Nov 2000, 11:08 link
I want to test to see if my pictures work so here is a picture of my pussy: I have four pussies at home and a further three at my mum and dad's house and that is why I am 48% slut. STILL haven't told boss. Am going to though. I am. Honestly. Soon....
spork	[no subject]	Wed 29th Nov 2000, 10:10 link
The new job people phoned and offered me another £800 so am glad I decided to ask. Have made my mind up about it and said yes. Can't believe it - I can't believe I am giving this -permanent- job up but I will be earning nearly 3grand more so I suppose that will ease pain slightly. Hope I don't regret my decision. Haven't told boss here yet - have to hand in notice today though. I suppose when I tell him, then it will feel more real. Notice should be a month but I am not sure it will be given Christmas and that, and I have 6.5days holiday left so I might only have to work another two weeks here and have a really long Christmas. As always, we'll see. All you testicle-wearing fellas out there may be pleased to hear that just as we were putting boycat, Boron, in the taxi to take him to the vets, he performed a Houdini-esque escape (from a proper cat basket, not just a box), ripping my palm in the process. Funnily enough, he resisted being recaptured and so we had to take Silicon to the vets on her own. His nads will be intact for another couple of weeks...
spork	[no subject]	Tue 28th Nov 2000, 16:46 link
Think I am going to take the job but have decided to do something completely un-me and haggle over money - extra money would buy me a bit more security if I don't get a job at the end of the contract. Feel so cheeky though, hate asking about money but at the end of the day, that's what I am here for. Plus, as I am sure my mother would say if I asked her to say it, 'if you don't ask, you don't get' - they want to hire me, I don't really have much to lose. I feel torn, as Natalie Imbru-whatsherface once said (although I'm not lying naked on the floor). Vague wondering again: if I had bigger boobs (tm), would I have to haggle for more cash or would it be thrown at me? Would have to be careful though, in case sharp edged cash popped bigger boobs(tm) like balloons/overinflated frogs. Going to get one of the cats' nads chopped off tomorrow - will report if meow goes up in pitch. The girl cat is getting done too but that doesn't get guys cringeing in the same way. Btw, randy cat update - think girl cat has gone off idea of 'getting it on' a bit as she hid under the duvet last night and swiped him when he came near her; she's probably knackered. Either that, or the Scaramanga influence of a couple of weeks ago has transformed her sexual identity - I'll go home tonight and find her in dungarees and Doc Martens. Mmmmm, mmmmm. Maybe not.
spork	[no subject]	Tue 28th Nov 2000, 10:57 link
I don't know what to do: the job interview I went for yesterday - well, I got the job. The trouble is that I don't know if I want the job. Here, I am on a permanent contract, but with crap pay, lack of stimulation and the MLC factor but I do like most of the work, and most of the people I deal with in the jobs are cool and I would miss them. There (same 'company' but different department), slightly better money (2 grand more), another step up the ladder so busier and presumably more interesting but missing a couple of the key things I like about this job. And most importantly, a fixed term contract ending in November next year. I don't think I would have a problem getting another job at the end of that but it is uncertainty - especially since I want to get a mortgage soon. Any stray careers advisers / maniacs with an opinion out there, please give me some advice! I have until this afternoon to decide....
spork	[no subject]	Tue 28th Nov 2000, 09:56 link
To echo bAckline but in a more pensive manner: mmmmm, mmmmm, mmmmm, mmmm ... mmmmm, MMMM, mmmmm.
spork	[no subject]	Mon 27th Nov 2000, 12:15 link
Had an unusual weekend due to two of the cats suddenly feeling kinda randy, and the other (neutered) two looking on with bemusement. Spent Saturday night and most of Sunday trying to keep them apart but then I got distracted by this awful games console thing on QVC and when I remembered I was on cat duty, they were putting on a show for the two onlookers. Silicon, the girl cat, seemed as up for it as Boron (dirty-old-boy cat) which made it difficult to keep telling her that she shouldn't put out on a first date/she should wait until she is older/kittens are not her only option in life/he'll do it then leave. Finally gave in last night and stopped shooing them apart - basically because the weather was horrid and I didn't fancy throwing Boron out again, and we are getting them snipped on wednesday anyway. The problem with this was turns out Sili is a bit of a talker - I know now the feline for "do it to me, big boy" and from Boron, "I'll be safe, honestly". Vague wondering - wonder if bAckline's cat writes for a geek-cat-ware page and has written a similar article today... More substantiated wondering - think 'randy cats' sound like a tv shopping channel presenter -- "Hi, my name's Randy Katz and I want to show you this FANtastic new gold-ine brooch with diamond-ique-esque surround - it's SO tasteful".
spork	[no subject]	Mon 27th Nov 2000, 09:25 link
I think I should make it clear that I don't really want bigger boobs(tm). I have C/D-on-a-good-day boobs and I am 5'5 tall - any bigger and I would wobble over like an inverse weebell. And I wasn't offended by the guessing of boob size antics on friday, I was amazed at the accuracy - jeez, you guys (bAckline et al) must spend hours looking at boobs. No, wait... Friday night was a good night, although slightly freaky that geeks I have never met knew all about me from this diary thing. Found out Scaramanga is a lesbian (or so he would have us believe) and that bAckline is really a sailor since he has an anchor tattoo on his arm and everything. Message for LittleElf: bAckline is not a fully qualified gynacologist and should not be allowed to carry out smear tests unless his instrument is properly sterilised in boiling water. Judge Ruffneck was once convinced of bAckline's 'medical training' and as a result, now walks kinda bowlegged. Be warned, le petit elf.
spork	[no subject]	Fri 24th Nov 2000, 16:50 link
It's Friday... It's ten to five... It's so nearly the weekend I can smell it like a fat guy who hasn't washed for a week after lying in a tub of fish for a fortnight with a skunk called Sebastian. No particular plans for the weekend as trés skint at the moment. Might think up something incredibly deep over the weekend which will solve all humanity's questions about life, the universe and everything. Or might watch some videos and eat lots of cake. Mmmmm, mmmmm. Wonder which I shall do... Am using the phrase 'mmmm, mmmm' (or a variation upon it) far too much at the moment and am trying to justify it by saying it is the mentally equivalent of spooling. If I had bigger boobs (tm), I wouldn't have to justify anything, ever.

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