Plimsole for calling it a stupid-o-list. I mean, duh, just how stupid?

I learnt a few things today:

1) Plimsole is a victim. She said so herself.
2) bAckline has the hugest gut ever, in the history of the world ever.
3) bAckline wants to hang his penis out of a car window to show the world his car, or future car, is not a penis replacement. Which it is. Allegedly.
4) Plimsole sounds like Miss Piggy (well, she did once) and gets annoyed when we point it out to her.
5) bAckline has to sit down to pee in Plimsole's bathroom due either to the size of his a) gut or b) penis. Or perhaps, just perhaps because Plimsole has the tiniest bathroom in the history of bathrooms.

I hear that she is so evil that she spells it with multiple 'eee's. Tsk.

I think I can pretty much guess the answer (especially considering the time I saw this happening to be inspired to ask the question, it was right near a big building) but I would like a pseudo scientific one from you pseudo scientific people out there: email me with your suggestions (diagrams not essential but if included should be drawn entirely on MS Paint, or equivalent, using only the pencil tool, in less time than it has taken me to write this entry).

1) You can buy cheese from Morrisons called "Red Hot Dutch" (edam with chillis)

2) You should always read the washing instructions before washing your new favourite lambswool jumper unless you want it shrunk from pleasantly-baggy to even-a-supermodel-would-think-this-is-tight. Ho hum.

Oh, and I'm still having job issues but job issues with some nice tapas so not too bad.

Subtext of this message: I have job issues at the moment

I consider myself to be quite a polite and courteous person. I say 'please', 'thank you' and 'sorry' to absolute strangers more than strictly necessary. I hold the door open for other people when it would be justified to just let it shut and I let other people have first choice in most situations. But my politeocity (which I know isn't the real word but it sounds so much better) is not determined by the other person's gender, race or age: I'm an equal opportunities courtesyician (again... I know).

I think the 'ladies first' stuff peeves me because it implies that I need this man to help me get through a door - especially if it is a door that opens outwards and he is holding it open from the inside because I have to duck under his arm in a weird fashion. Or maybe it just peeves me because I don't get to do the politer-than-thou bit. I don't know but *grrrr*. </random rant>

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to shag a chicken.

"Women in South Africa are upset at civic leaders for naming their municipality after the female sexual organ.

Ingquza, means vagina in Xhosa and anus in Zulu, which are both tribal languages. The council says the new name is derived from a local hill."

I don't know what they're complaining about.

Yours,

Slightly perturbed from Baparsefadgeknobville, Nippleshire.