If I ever intended to make a cheap sci-fi film set in an institute of Higher Education, perhaps entitled "The Tripods: the Student Years", then I would definately film it there. And have the Osmond Bin Ladens sing on the soundtrack. And have lots of boobs in it (maybe even on the Osmond Bin Ladens).

I am quite, quite worried to find out that such a service exists but more intrigued to find out just where he punched that extra 2 to end up there. A quest begins...

All hail my arse. Its power reigns supreme.

1) I decided to hate the RAC because one of their "helpful" road signs got me lost for 20 minutes (on foot) and took me over a mile out of my way when I had already walked too much yesterday.
2) I got a spot on my chin and wrote a short poem about it
3) I found out that someone I know went to a prostitute to lose the old cherry a couple of months ago because he felt "left out of the conversation". He's about 23/24 and a postgrad student so I can't understand why he couldn't find anyone willing that he didn't have to pay. He had also lied very convincingly about his previous experience before that, saying his first time had been a knee-trembler around the back of a club when he was 21 (which is very believable for him) so I don't know why he felt "left out of the conversation" or why he actually told someone the truth (who told two friends, and they told two friends, and so on, and so on…).
4) I'm a < scouse accent > stuuuuudie < /scouse accent > once again, albeit for two and a half hours per week for one English Lit course and on a drop-in-when-I-want basis for the IT course I've enrolled on. They're only part time courses but I still get NUS membership - woohoo! discounts!
5) I also wrote a poem about my boobies.

Apparatus:
Some people (including my good self), some rain, a thermometer, a conical flask and some hydrochloric acid

Diagram:

Method:
Three (not so) willing subjects and myself were placed in "room" temperature rain for ten minutes. The temperature was measured using the supersized thermometer which we got as part of a 'extra value temperature measuring kit' for just 30p more than the regular size. The supersized conical flask (part of the 'extra value conical flask set') with its hydrochloric acid was left inside on a counter.

Results:
The first subject got "moderately damp" after ten minutes.
The second subject got "quite wet" after ten minutes.
The third subject said "bugger this, I'm not standing about in the rain for ten minutes - are you people daft or something?" and walked off. The third subject then stayed quite dry.
I got completely soaked after about one minute and spent the rest of the time moaning because I couldn't see out of my glasses but how it is cool to look at street lights at night through wet glasses because they diffuse.
The conical flask with its hydrochloric acid didn't do anything. It didn't get wet either.

Conclusion
I have big hair that frizzes when damp and glasses that I need to be clear in order to see. Therefore I am ALWAYS going to get wetter than everyone else because the world hates me.
You're daft if you stand around in the rain for ten minutes for no reason other than to write an experiment up on your Geek-ware diary.
Supersizing is ALWAYS good value. Except at McDonalds.
Hydrochloric acid left in a conical flask, inside, on a counter does not do much over ten minutes.

Apparatus:
One cat, one kitchen roll, some liquid, a surface to put liquid on, a conical flask and some hydrochloric acid

Diagram:

Method and Results:
Exactly half of the liquid was split onto the surface and it was let to stand for ten minutes. The cat got bored and wandered off. The cat was caught and asked to sit in the liquid. The cat refused to sit in the liquid. The cat was applied to the liquid a second time. The cat hissed and ensured its claws were on "kill" mode. The cat was applied to the liquid a final time. The experiment conductor went to bathe her cuts and scratches in TCP. The cat went to sleep then chased some string.
The kitchen roll was applied to the liquid. It soaked up all of the liquid in a 2.5 seconds.

Conclusions:
Cats should not be used in experiments of any kind.
Cats are not that keen being near liquid unless it is going in their mouths and tastes of cream, fish or meat.
Kitchen Rolls are more absorbent than cats.
Kitchen Rolls are more compliant than cats.
Kitchen Rolls are less likely to scratch you than cats.
Kitchen Rolls do not chase string... unfortunately.
Conical flasks containing hydrochloric acid should be featured in every experiment, no matter what that experiment is and whether they are used or not.


* naturally this experiment didn't really take place and it is just the figment of a deluded imagination.

- My cheque book
- My information about some courses I am supposed to be applying for
- The geek-ware article that I've scrawled on a piece of paper somewhere
- A knife and some butter (to cut and butter some bread I've just bought)
- My intelligence but not my boobs as Keith the boob-starer has just been in (even though he was supposed to have left at the end of July)

Also, I think one of the cats has secretly turned into (or been all along) some kind of steam engine. I went upstairs to the top floor this morning and Silicon was asleep, on her own, on the sofa bed. Despite the room being quite big (especially in comparison to that cat, and that cat's teeny head), the door wide open and both windows open slightly, she had still managed to steam up the entire window. If she were some kind of steam engine, it would explain the guy shovelling coal into the hatchway on her belly.
Oh, and, one of the other cats, Boron, completely savaged a kitchen roll that was lying on the floor yesterday. I hear the kitchen roll started it by giving him a dirty look. Misc. thought: I wonder what is more absorbent, a cat or a kitchen roll…..