I forgot to mention that I went to a NOFX Gig at Manchester Academy in May 2004. I met guitarist El Hefe. I told him I downloaded their last album (War on Errorism) from the Internet and felt bad so wanted to give him the cash, and handed him 10 quid. He told me it didn't matter and I could have it for free.

I think my ticket cost more than covered it. Though I bought that from a tout outside.

I wonder if the news about Kenneth Bigley escaping before being caught and executed was just made up to make him sound heroic; to help his friends and family avoid imagining his 30 days of hopeless waiting, just to be beheaded. It sucks that another human life has been brutally ended, but tens of thousands of innocent Iraqi civilians have died due to our war on terrorism and not one of those subscribed. Not one of those were paid a thousand quid a day by the US government. Every one of them would have preferred to have been elsewhere but didn't have the choice. Bigley went out there for the big bucks. We shouldn't forget that.

We see that the preparations for the US November elections are in full swing.

Also, in perhaps related news, see photos of some dumb undercover Swiss cops at the anti-G8 riots.

My suggestion for Tony Blair's epitaph: "here lied Tony Blair".

George. W. Bush will win the USA November 2004 election. He will win, not because a majority of people will vote for him, but because he controls the voting system.

It's been demonstrated that the Diebold voting software is utterly insecure. Votes can be changed without anyone knowing, including the officials who run the election,

The voting software has a backdoor that allows this easy manipulation of votes, but in a way that passes all spotchecks and verifications. According to internal Diebold memos, this backdoor appeared just after embezzler Jeffrey Dean became the senior programmer. Prior to working at Diebold, Dean was convicted of 23 counts of embezzlement which he admitted to commiting due to being blackmailed over killing someone in a fight (!).

This software, complete with Dean's backdoors, has been in use in elections for over four years. It was used in November 2000, where Bush famously stole that election, and it will be used again this year.

Appeals to the use of the software, or to implement measures preventing the kind of known backdoors are all being refused. The independant observation process is a joke. The press are even publishing fake poll information showing Bush ahead of Kerry, to manage expectations. Everything is set up perfectly.

"We are succeeding in Iraq. We are succeeding against the forces of evil."

This isn't fucking Lord of the Rings. This isn't an episode of the power-puff girls. We aren't the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Tony Blair isn't He-Man. George Bush might live in a little world of his own, but he's not in The Chronicles of Narnia. Dick Cheney isn't Pokemon.

These people that we're 'succeeding' against are not zombies, or decepticons or armies under the control of Baron von Greenback. They are people. They are fighting for what they think is right and what is invaribly being proved to be the truth.

"Professor Katsuma Yagasaki ... calculated that the 800 tons of DU used in Afghanistan is the radioactive equivalent of 83,000 Nagasaki bombs. The amount of DU used in Iraq is equivalent to 250,000 Nagasaki bombs."

"In 1989 there were 11 abnormalities per 100,000 births; in 2001 there were 116 per 100,000—an increase of over a thousand percent. In 1989 34 people died of cancer; in 2001 there were 603 cancer deaths. The 2003 war has increased these figures exponentially."

"There is no treatment and there is no cure."

"67% [of post-Gulf War babies of veterans] were found to have serious birth defects or serious illnesses. They were born without eyes (anophthalmos), ears, had missing organs, missing legs and arms, fused fingers, thyroid or other organ malformations."

"babies are born without brains, organs are outside the body, or women give birth to pieces of flesh. In babies born in Iraq in 2002, the incidence of anophthalmos was 250,000 times greater than the natural occurrence."

http://www.projectcensored.org/publications/2005/4.html

I filled the iron up with water from a cup that had apple juice in it. Now when I use the iron my shirts smell of apple pie.

Lady Diana, pools of blood at your feet
Wondering which bits you, and which bits are car seat
Who finds the money? Who'll now pay the rent?
Did you think that royalty was heaven sent?

Lady Diana, gear-stick in your breast
Wondering if your driver will pass the test

Lady Diana, what was it that you said?
for now you're listening to your brains leak from your head

too soon?

A crazy woman was screaming and shouting in the main road today. She waved down a bus and started to climb up the front of it. She then kind of shimmied around to the side in an attempt to climb in the driver's window. She seemed quite upset. Kind of upset upset, not mad upset.

The bus driver, clearly having not attended the training involving how to deal with frenzied members of the public using your tie as a rope ladder, stopped his bus and waited for the inevitable. Whatever he imagined that may have been.

A guy jumped out of his van and took charge. She jumped off the bus and into the passenger seat of a passing car, which stopped. The guy tried to drag her out of the car whilst making a call to the police. He was very clear to the police that a 'hysterial black girl' was causing problems. I imagine this was so that the right kind ambulance arrived on the scene, with all the different medical equipment black people need. You know, with their 2 hearts and exoskeleton.

It also served to make sure the police sent enough cars. 3 in total. She *was* hysterial remember. And you don't wanna mess with those exoskeletons.

Anyway, she was arrested and calm came once more to our small 'borough' of Leeds. Safe from hysterical women of all religions, creeds and skeletal structure.

I'm beginning to see a lot of guys with these wireless bluetooth mobile phone headsets. I'm beginning to see them outside of the usual car environment though. In Morrisons, for example. He wasn't calling anyone, he was just wearing it. And in clothes shop too. And once at a funeral. Guys just walking around in the street with them on.

I've not yet seen *one* female wearing one though. This was the big clue.

This is when I realised that these guys clearly enjoy pretending they are cyborgs. As a young boy, the idea of being a robot was even more exciting than having a best friend that was a robot. These guys have just never grown up. This may possibly be true for all men (oh god I sound like Jerry Seinfeld with my crappy gender role 'humour')

I bet if you get up close enough you can hear them making electric motor noises when they move their heads.

"we could save very large sums of money by ensuring that because we have the only free health service in the world we do not provide a free health service to the rest of the world"
http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm200304/cmselect/cmhaff/uc130-vii/uc13002.htm

Mr. Blunkett seems not to be aware of a little country called Cuba. Also, Canada. That's quite small too.

beat beat beat beat beat ... BEAT beat beat beat beat beat beat ... BEAT beat beat ... BEAT

My heart got bored with the usual 4/4 beat and is experimenting with some syncopated rhythm. Nobody is sure why it's doing this. Not even the tired, distracted cardio-vascular doctor who kept scratching "himself" could tell me what was going on.

I don't drink a lot of caffinated drinks, no fizzy pop whatsoever and very little beer. I hadn't eaten any spicy food, or gone for a run that I'd forgotten about. I do eat a good bit of chocolate but not within a heart-affecting time-frame.

So, I have decided to confuse it by corrupting it's time signature with my breathing and thinking one sixteenth off beat.