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Plimsole	[no subject]	Sun 28th Oct 2001, 21:42 link
Hmmmmmm, traffic jams suck ass, especially 'mystery' ones that have no reason for their existence. If it's because of roadworks or a breakdown you can understand it and you know when you've definitely passed it, but when you don't know why they're happening you begin to wonder whether some sadistic motorists are trying to start a trend. Explosions also suck ass. It looks like all the scallies in the land have got their hands on dodgy fireworks that may probably blow them off (hands, that is). I feel sorry for all the little animals, they must be papping themselves, oh, and old people.
Plimsole	[no subject]	Fri 26th Oct 2001, 10:42 link
My dreams are getting weirder, this worries me as normally they aren't too bad. Last night I was a 40 year old mother of teenage boys, but in a film, with no discernable 'A' list actor playing their father, y'know John Cusack would've been good, but my subconcious failed to deliver (I probably got Dan Ackroyd, but I can't remember-it wouldn't be the first time, but that's another story). I reckon tonight I'll probably be a Ninja Turtle or something, or Splinter....I'll have to wait and see. I suppose it's better than dreaming about escaping a murderer, so I can't really complain, the easy answer is to stop eating cheese. May the force be with Spork and her job decision-making...and her forgetfulness. Maybe I can convince her that she owes me loads of cash, saying that she's forgotten, but no, that would be e-e-v-i-l, hehohahehohahahahaaaaaaa!
Plimsole	[no subject]	Tue 23rd Oct 2001, 17:34 link
Don't you just love time off? Oh I do. Today has been a good day, got loads done and spent some quality time with me, myself and I. The weird thing is that I'm beginning to feel all grown up (she says, after having a mad hyper around the house and irritating all flatmates with very bad singing/wailing). The first sign of growing up was painfully shelling out Ł800 for my car, she's worth it, but, oh how it hurt. The next sign has been the several discussions with the Sporkster about buying houses......aaaagggghhhh! In all seriousness, Spork's thinking of buying, as am I, as it looks likely that I might return to my adopted homeland of Yorkshire. Brrrrrrrr, this is scary stuff, mindyou, knowing me I'll probably opt for a 'Rosie and Jim' life on a narrowboat somewhere, either that or a caravan. Memo to self: Enquire about necessary qualifications for role of 'trailer trash'.
Plimsole	[no subject]	Thu 18th Oct 2001, 23:34 link
Just thought you'd like to know that I am a Princess, my Dad said so, so it must be true (and you'd think he'd know, mmm, well maybe)....you must now bow down to me you mere mortals, muahua! While I'm here, Spork's idea of moving onto painting pillar boxes for an easier life is a misguided one, kuh! I am speaking from experience, the summer of 1995 proved to be very demanding, with work pressure and all that.
Plimsole	[no subject]	Wed 17th Oct 2001, 17:54 link
Today has been absolute pants, probably the shitest day on record since, since..erm...well anyway, it was shit. It has been one of those where you naively think it can't get any worse, and it does. Constantly. Grrrr, pah, grrr, buh, pah, grrr. (Feeling slightly cleansed now). Out of interest; does anyone know why the feckin wasps haven't snuffed it yet? I wish they'd all bugger off and leave me alone. Bastards. I'm sure they can smell fear.* *As you can probably guess, my luuurve for tree-huggin', or anything else remotely connected to the joys of nature, has gone (for today anyways....aaaaah the joys of being fickle).
Plimsole	[no subject]	Mon 15th Oct 2001, 21:59 link
I saw the most beautiful-ist rainbow today...it was so pretty. Very bright, vivid colours and there was a weakling second one too. It was lurvely, I nearly became a hippy for a bit, y'know; 'life is beautiful maaan'...but I soon snapped out of it. Thought I'd share my tree-huggin' luuurve with you all....I'm off now to go talk to a plant.
Plimsole	[no subject]	Thu 11th Oct 2001, 23:28 link
uuugghhh.....Spork has just licked me down the phone....she's w-e-i-r-d......
Plimsole	[no subject]	Tue 9th Oct 2001, 18:55 link
Time is a strange thing, I've decided that if I were a miniature hero my hero-power would be the ability to stop time (but in a super-cool way with flashy lights, puffs of smoke and the 'Osmond Bin Ladens' singing o-so-sweetly in the background). I definitely don't have enough at the moment, I keep being a bit of a plonker and agreeing to staying on after work for one thing or another (don't mind really-its all good stuff, but y'know). Stopping time would be amazing.....you could get all your work done, have a good long kip, get in touch with people you keep meaning to and then do a spot of time travelling, cos obviously that power would come into the bargain. I reckon Spork's swimming in treacle thing is a good analogy, due to her obvious....(insert any relevant word)...genius....but I think a vat of cheese sauce (she is the self-proclaimed Queen of cheesy skills in a certain area) is probably more apt, ahem....do-de-do-de-do-do-do.... Realisation that I was probably on Spork's stupid-o-list already, and that I have just proved my qualifications
Plimsole	[no subject]	Wed 10th Oct 2001, 21:46 link
Hands up all of you that thought the Arse-war between myself and the notorious S.p.o.r.k had ended through peace talks....Well, it's a good answer, but it's not right. The arse-war had merely been put on the back-burner (no pun intended) while we were hiding from the Taliban, but as they are a bit distracted at the moment I feel that it is time to issue an ultimatum to the evil known as Spork......accept that my arse is far superior/glorious/majestic/powerful than yours and I won't blow you into orbit (just don't, don't ask how), lets face it I've got the big artillery on my side, special bum-ticks and not forgetting my new militant supporters that will only refer to me as F.A....a.k.a Fat-arse.(They chant this at 22 minutes past the hour while turning anti-clockwise) Some of you may be feeling that I am being harsh on the Spork, but after my recent ranking of #2 on the stupid-o-list (YES, Stupid-o-list), I think that she is getting off lightly. Memo to Spork: Before re-commencing war please wait for me to return from Oman as I have been commissioned by special forces to eradicate a certain ginger ex-Spice bint. a-thankyou, F.A.
Plimsole	[no subject]	Sat 6th Oct 2001, 21:06 link
I, apparently, am a victim according to bAckline, purely because I object to being persecuted for ABSOLUTELY anything, all day long coz bAckline is feeling tetchy about his weener and the fact that his gut stops him from using my adequately proportioned bathroom properly. Tut, tut.....well, I don't mind being a 'victim' therefore I can't be a victim, so suck on that weener-boy! If bAckline writes anything in response to this in a turn-this-on-it's-head fashion, then he is obviously trying to avoid mentioning his vast gut. wow-ee it's a big-un (gut, that is). Btw, Spork is not innocent in any of this and has encouraged my victim-ness and all subsequent persecution of bAckline and his obvious anatomical defaults.

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