The story goes like this....A few days ago I had one of those card thingies from the postman saying I had something waiting for me at the depot that was too big for my letterbox. As I knew hardly anyone had my new address I didn't get very excited about this, but how wrong was I? My nice de-mulleted Highlander flatmate also had a card thingie and offered to go and get mine for me. Now, I've said it before and I'll say it again....what a darlin. Today I was feeling all tired and tetchy from the little oiks (having *just* stealthily avoided the neighbour) I came home to find a big parcel waiting for me, wahoo!

This parcel is probably the best present I've ever got (it was for my first week in my new job)...it's full of little cool presents like posh coffee, v.nice lamp, emergency fags, groovy spork-made drawing in jazzy frame, very funny and appropriate mug, a little toy cat that is the spitting image of Bozza and very smelly, posh soap, that induced headaches on purchase!

So to get to the point, I would just like to say to Spork and Judge Ruffneck you know me FAR too well and you are the greatest friends a gal could have.

* You think that you are being friendly and neighbourly but they are sooo grateful for any human communication that they see it as something *more*.

* 'Amazing' coincidences take place during any small talk, i.e something dull and mundane like you share the same profession....oooh, thats, like, amazing, because obviously teaching is a dying trade.

* Assumptions are made about the fact that because he's a *Geeeezer* and you're a *Biiirrd* you should automatically get your rocks off. (ahem, that would be a no).

* Thereafter, all entries and exits of the house must be done under cover of darkness or commando-style to avoid any contact. (this ruins all clothes and knackers the thigh muscles).

* It is ALWAYS bad/wrong/dangerous/stupid to talk to strangers.

I had some funny photos developed the other day of a recent geek day out, so today, I'm afraid to say has definitely NOT been a lazy sunday. No, we have been very resourceful little toads and decided to let all those who want to have a gawp the chance. *Evil, luring voice* Go on then, you know you want to....

http://www.louisaparry.8k.com/geekware/index.html

NTL are still lying to me the arseholes that they are; 'Sorry madam, there is a fault on your line we'll fix it when we can be arsed to retract our heads from our colons blahdeblah'...grrr....A nice surprise though, my Highlander flatmate is very nice, and in the spirit of happy-housedom she has cut off her mullet, turned off Queen, and put the sword away in a safe place......what a darlin.

I'm now, most definitely, on my own in Nottingham, and it feels a bit wierd. Probably because I don't have cats jumping all over me anymore, boo,hoo. Last weekend was good though, had a laugh with mates going to festivals and things, so it was a nice good-bye. *Throwing her head back and laughing like a demon, she cries; 'But not for long! Muahua!*

I've definitely had too much time off, my head hurts with the amount of work I've got to do.....crap.

In the wise words of 'The Specials', this is the..(Dawning of) a New Era.......

Moved down there on Tuesday and Spork IS my Sherpa, bless her, she now has a completely warped spine with boobage that now scrapes along the floor along with her knuckles--te,he! But, she did move my stuff, so in my eyes she's as foxy as ever. (for Scara-we did share a bed for a couple of nights and the video is on its way).

My new flatmates seem pretty nice, but there is a wierd Scottish silent one, I reckon she might be like a Highlander character, which does explain her huge sword and mullet-alongside the constant playing of Queen.

Memo to self: Buy earplugs.

I'm in the mood now to go to another festival, aaah, if only one was taking place next weekend, erm.....

Feeling like I am on the edge of the black abyss, better known as moving away, shite. Leave tomorrow, and I don't wanna, blub, blub, o, what if, what if, what if... But, don't worry folks, I'm like a disease (maybe like Herpes mmm), once you've got me, you just can't get rid.

I REALLY, really, really don't want to move to Nottingham.

I really, really don't.

I have another apology to make for encouraging the redneck kids in their antics, I am a sucker for punishment, and for that I am sorry.

Off to a cheesy festival this weekend, and hoping that it will be better than anticipated. I am expecting to become bored, skint, smelly and hungry, but have paid £70 for the priviledge-oops. I am worried about Spork and the Judge though, I don't know how they are going to cope with their new-found freedom minus the Plimsole. I expect they will probably go insane and get 5 more cats.

On a more serious note I see LydiaBushGrrl has fallen for good ol' Jaimie O. I can understand your love as I too was once under his spell for all of the same reasons. I eventually got over him after some intensive therapy and a good dose of his VERY cheesy-naff TV ads for a supermarket, hopefully your love can remain pure and eternal if you avoid these ads at all costs. ( Remember to get rid of his binty wife too).

I'm a long-time reader, first time writer and I am finding this a little scary, as in meeting-a-nostril-less-Moomin-down-a-dark-alley scary.

Went to York today, you know, that famous 'city' of the north where everyone there has more money than you can shake a stick at (while pretending they are actually living in Cambridge), yet, surprisingly, myself, Spork and Judge Ruffneck had quite a good day. We did however, spend alot of time running away from little spawns of satan's sperm all day whilst in a museum. The irony is that myself, and the Judge, have dedicated our careers to said spawn-oops, grrrr.

*lalalalalah, must think about nice things....flowers, butterflies, young children being mown down by plague of killer bees...aagh, MUST CONCENTRATE HARDER!*