I can hear my boss flirting. It is somewhat horrific.

Last night was Bonfire Night in the UK. For countries that don't know about other places' history (hello Americans), this annual event commemorates a failed attempt to blow up the Houses of Parliament in 1605. The main perpetrator was Guy Fawkes, a member of a provincial Catholic group that planned an explosion using 36 barrels of gunpowder to kill King James I and replace his brand of religious intolerance with their own variety.

Fawkes' plan was thwarted by a tall and handsome (or so the legend goes...) Protestant and, for his sins, Fawkes was hanged, drawn and quartered. After having lived through another 5th November "celebration", I wonder, in comparison, he got let off a bit lightly. Idiots and ridiculous amounts of fireworks seem to go together like saltpetre, charcoal and sulphur.

Giving every moron in Britain the right to buy as many small explosive devices as he (invariably) wishes each November to "celebrate" Guy Fawkes' terrorist attempt is like giving each children in America the chance to fly their own plane in order to commemorate September 11th. I wonder if, in three hundred years time, we'll be burning effigies (or not) of Muslims on bonfires instead.

Remember, remember, the eleventh of September,
Jet planes, the reasons and the lot.
I see no reason why any sort of, um, reason
Should get in the way of the .. bombing of Afghanistan, then the lying to the American public and taking away even more of their civil freedoms under the name of PATRIOTism, then gross arse-shafting of everyone with any sort of connection to the Muslim faith or the Middle East or has the same birthdate as anyone connected to either Islam or the Middle East, then the forging fake links between bin Laden and Hussein in order to invade Iraq, then the lying to other countries around the world about WMDs, then the ignoring global public opinion, then the bombing and indiscrimate killing of civilians, then the unlawful theft of Iraq's oil .. plot.

Remember, remember the sixth of November
bloody stumps, blindness, bloodshot
I see no reason, why general public arson
should always go uncaught.

Morons, morons
seems their intent
To endanger their kids and us to torment
Three score barrels of powder below
Kill all the catholics, bravo, bravo.

Over the last couple of weeks I've noticed an inverse relationship between IQ and excitement surrounding fireworks. I've also noticed an inverse relationship between household income and amount spent on said eye bombs.

This mini peperami sausage is just a salty mangled meat mess. Lovely.

It's made by Unilever. Unilever make other food products, such as Lipton Tea and Magnums. "Yum". They also make Comfort clothes washing softner. Hmmm. Thats kind of like Ben & Jerrys bringing out a brand of Bleach. I hope they don't get the manufacturing processes mixed up.

UPDATE: It turns out Unilever also make bleach. Domestos.

ANOTHER UPDATE: In further out-turning, Unilever own Ben & Jerrys.

It's September the 11th. 9/11. It's an important day. It's the anniversary of The Ford Pinto. It was introduced this day in 1970.

Also, this day marks the beginning of many innocent peoples deaths: The 1st Cavalry Division of the United States Army arrived in Vietnam in 1965.

Also some firemen got payrises or something in 2001.

The computer of the guy across from me keeps making little Windows XP piano tinkling noises. I think he has a virtual Jools Holland installed which needs feeding or something. I wonder what a virtual Jools Holland would eat?

The current NewWorldOdour ISP seems to be having some serious slowdowns and a lot of ports are suddenly firewalled. I assume they are having problems with the latest Mickeysoft worms. Those evil worm writers. I'm so glad we have Microsoft to save our souls by writing timely security patches.

My new job starts tomorrow so today marks the end of lazing around at home.

Today has been quite a typical jobless day. I wake up at 10am and browsed the Internet in bed (ok, a typical geek jobless day). Got up and made myself a bacon sandwhich. Watched the history channel for a bit. Was nasty to some door-to-door survey girls. Played with cats. Watched Quincy, M.E.

I will miss this life.

What am I doing AWAKE at this hour!!

"While millions of Iraqis suffered dire poverty, Uday lived a life of fast cars, expensive liquor and easy women"

With 39 million Americans (14% of the population) living in poverty (source: U.S. Census Bureau), I can't help but immediately think of George Bush here.