This week in my town a man was shot dead with an illegal firearm (of which there is one for every 10 people in the country). There was a blazing inferno so large that the smoke set off smoke alarms in the surrounding houses and fire fighters with six modern fire appliances struggled to put it out; this was the night before a 48 hour firefighters strike; apparently they need to modernise to get a 40% pay rise (just like the politicians who got a 40% pay rise who sit all day talking only when holding the correct sceptre/conch, and whose building is opened each morning by a man dressed in a golden duvet with a hat made out of a duck). Can you belive those damn firefighters are refusing to restructure in such a way as to reduce fire coverage during the night on the basis that human lives are more important than money which is allocated to the half-a-million well paid troops to fight a war against a country ruled by a "tyrant" (even though our secretary of state turns down asylum seekers from that country on the basis that its judiciary is "just" and "even handed") just becouse the illigitemate president of the illigitemate super powers daddy couldn't buy 10 million barrels of crude oil (which isn't even needed to run cars efficiently but hey the companys who like cheap oil pay the campain contributions, so why argue)? My country is in absolute chaos.

But hey, aren't we lucky we don't live in one of them thar anarchist societies, that would be chaos; mad max society. I'm so glad I don't live in spain in 1937 right now I can tell ya!

Don't know what it was...

Walking past a McDonalds today, I saw a sign announcing that they now only use free range eggs in the Egg McMuffin.

Well, that's aswayed all my fears about their food and its manner of production then. Nothing to worry about now.

spending Saturday morning in bed together - searching for masonic symbols and logos on Google.

War, HUH!, what is it good for? Absolutely nothing -

Except oil. Which will, of course, be "held for the benefit of the Iraqi people". By "held", I presume, Powell means "used to increase America's contribution to world's carbon emissions". And by "Iraqi people", he means "those goddamn commie-homo-hippy Muslim bastards". And by "benefit", he means, "hahaha, fuck you."

People on bikes. Sure, they'll live longer than me due to all the excerise they do, but I have a car. By the time I die, all the things I had needed to do I will have already done, as I got there by car. Losers.

According to some EU published statistics, there are 6.3 deaths per 100 million km travelled by cycle. Compared to the 0.8 by car, I think I'll be the last man standing, er, driving.

It's just 7 short months until my birthday now (to the day, write it in your diaries people, and by people I mean edward) and I've found my ideal birthday present(cum-secret-evil-lair). You might want to all club together though - it's a tad expensive - but, you know, I'm worth it.

Maybe it’s because I don’t believe in them, but the gods seem to be conspiring against me today.

"Cops don't like fish driving cars....they frown on that" -- Bill Hicks.
"And the elephants dancing on the graves of squealing mice. Anyone for tennis, wouldn't that be nice?" -- Eric Clapton

I guess I am now a legal guardian of 4 pussy cats.

One of the aforementioned felines urinated into the toaster last week. I was made aware of the pussy piddle through the discovery of a black cloud of urea-thick smoke, which has since left the kitchen smelling of burnt tomcat, and my toast tasting of uric acid.

I will closely document every amusing excretory act these round-headed fissipeds produce and place for your enjoyment.

Sorry for the downtime. Link problems it seems. Then routing problems. *sigh*