Today has been a day of crossing things off my “things to do” list. I haven’t necessarily done any of these things but crossing them off has made me look productive and feel good about my productivity levels - and I think that’s the important thing really.

I called Abraham Taboh immediately as requested today (seriously, it's a mobile phone number in the Ivory Coast) and discussed our next steps.

Apparently he needs my bank details to transfer the $21,000,000 dollars in small quantities as not to arouse suspicion. I promised to send them to him tomorrow, along with my home address, and a photograph of myself.

I told him I had prepared for his arrival by asking my Mum if he could stay over for a while, and she had said yes. Unfortunately there is only one bed so his sister may have to stay with me. He was ok with this. He says his god blesses me.

Concerned, as I was, that this may have been a scam, and feared not only for the loss of my freedom, but also the loss of my life I queried the legality of the transaction. He reassured me that everything was fine as he had truthfully lost his machete last week whilst brutally murdering American business-men, and therefore had no intention of harming me or my bank balance.

I also had the honor of speaking with his sister, whose soft whispers compared only to those of Captain Caveman, and had the grammatical grace of a hungry pitbull terrier.

I can only say, whilst my credit history is blackened and burnt into the harddisks of Visa international, that this invitation doesn't just apply to me, it applies to *every* big-dollar westerner. Contact the Sierra Leone tourist board for more information.

I was away from the office on Friday and somehow both my mug and my post-its have gone missing from my desk. Even the guardmould on mug didn't stop its vicious theft.

Not only have I been deprived of caffeine all day, I've been deprived of the ability to use little yellow notes to tell everyone where I've gone when I've gone to find/buy a new mug.

Today's mid-afternoon snack: 2-finger Kit-Kat and a mini Toblerone.

sometimes i worry myself and other times i scare the living daylights out of myself. the latter is not necessarily a bad thing though because the film is awful and the video box is just more than a tad uncomfortable.

Eew, being a fifty year old man stuck in a twenty year-old (I wonder what the parents would say...).

However, I also realised I don't know enough, even for a fifty year-old. I want to know now what I should know in four years. Or be four years younger and know what I know now. (I don't know why four years, round figure I guess)

I don't think i'm that knowledgeable to be honest.(When I say knowledge, I mean the stuff that people think is true because it fits in with the logic of all the other supposedly true stuff (id est, theory masquerading as fact)).

Note to self: Must add time-travel and brain interface capability to rsync.

Note to self: This will probably have to wait four years until I know C

• We are eating like Americans
• We are talking like Americans
• We are dressing like Americans
• We are fighting with the Americans
• Umberellas

Ode about a funny email I received today:

Matt, Matt, Matt
You own a cat, cat, cat
Your dad invented the spork, spork, spork
So you “0wnz” my ass, ass, ass

Legal Notice: In that last line, the emphasis is on “ass” rather than “my”, just to make that clear.