Top five alternatives for the lyric “Baby, it’s cold outside”

1. Baby, it’s FUCKING FREEZING outside
2. Baby, global warming will have an upside
3. Baby, my testicles’ve retreated back inside
4. Baby, it’s your turn to clean out the litter tray. And shut the gate while you’re at it, I always have to do it because you hate when it bangs in the wind. I’m not going outside in this weather, not when I’ve got my slippers on. I’ll slip down the icy steps and fall on my backside.
5. Baby, it’s… what? No, stop bitching at me. That’s all I hear all day. Wah, wah, wah. First from my boss and then from you. I’m not cleaning out that dumb tray. She’s your cat so that’s your poop to clear up. And *I* didn’t leave the gate open. It’s always you when you’re swanning in without a care in the world, forgetting things like shutting the gate or wiping your shoes on the mat. Do you know how often I have to hoover in here to get rid of all the mud that you traipse in? And what about me? Aren’t I just as likely to slip down the steps as you? I’m in my socks, not your fancy-smancy slippers so I’ll get colder and am more likely to slip. Do you ever look at it from my side? huh, my side?