Ohmigod, just got my wrists slapped by bAckline ("The spankings! And the Oral Sex!") for not writing enough, so I ought to. Anyway, I got lots to say tonite, and I'm on caffeine rush, so if you're sitting comfortably, then I'll begin!

Lets see...

• Awkward blokes
• Minesweeper Certified Players
• Linus the God
• Cold licenses
• Random crud

• Awkward blokes
• Minesweeper Certified Players
• Linus the God
• Cold licenses
• Random crud

Awkward blokes

Well, this is quite a weird thing to discuss for a guy I guess, but as those of you out there who know me will know (with me so far?) my best mate is actually female. As a result, I tend to get ratty about blokes at least as much as women -- after all, she's far more active than me! For the sake of argument, I'm going to call her "L" this week.

Anyways, I'm pissed at a chappy now who went round on a big "Don't want a full-blown relationship" blast for a couple of weeks at L. Now he's decided that because people think there's something going on (surely not!) it's a bad thing and he's gonna take his bat and ball home...

So I get to deal with a tearful L, and curse awkward blokes, and I'm still high so I'm gonna keep writing!

Minesweeper Certified Players

OK, my next target is the wonderful local administrator of the Distributed International Xenophobic Oxymorons Networking Society's Cabal for Trashy Coding. This marvellous example of the Windows administration group is just about capable of clicking the occasional radio button, but has yet to spot the big red button marked "Install a Real Operating System" ;) However, since he is likely to be one of the people with whom I ork cows for the foreseeable future, I have to humour his incessant "what's a command line?" 'jokes' (we hope he's joking, since we seem to have an increasing number of Linux boxen around now *grin*). Nerf target numero uno.

Here ends the second rant.

Linus the God

Alright, this is more about Linux and the software than about an evangelical discussion of Linus. The last few weeks can be summarised as follows:

• Linux rules
• Squid rules
• Perl DEFINITELY rules
• QMail is nice
• Regular expressions are useful
• I don't like shopping

Which one of those was a blatant lie? Answers on a postcard please to my spam account and I'll announce the random(ish) winner when I bother.

And so endeth rant the third.

Cold licenses

Right, now for some humour (*gasp*). Which of the following standard licenses apply to the common cold?

• Microsoft license
• GPL
• LGPL
• BSD-style license
• Artistic license

Ok, here's your scores...

• Microsoft license -- if MS had a cold, you would have to destroy all copies of your cold before passing it onto anyone else, and passing it to others would be illegal. Score 0 points.
• GPL -- almost, but no banana. A GPL'd cold would mean you had to pass not just the cold, but your entire body, onto anyone that was nearby. Some people of course do this bit for fun... none near me tho' :( Score 3 points for being close, and a bonus point for having heard of the GPL.
• LGPL -- huzzah, you're right! You can change and distribute your cold at will, but there's no catch. Score 5 points, and a bonus point for being elite enough to have heard of the LGPL.
• BSD-style license -- eesh, nearly as bad as the MS license. Take your cold home with you? No, you're not allowed to under the license! Change it? Certainly not! Score 2 points for being almost cool.
• Artistic license -- well, you really are a good butt-kisser ain'cha? Not suitable for colds, but cool nonetheless, the Artistic license is only here 'cos I like it. Score 4 points for successful brown-nosing.

Score also +1000 points if you have ever given a cold to, or been given a cold by, RMS (regardless of license type). Score +10 points if you have ever given a cold to, or been given a cold by, me (no license for my friends!).

Result: None! Neener!

Random crud

Eeeeeek, caffeine high! Still buzzin'. Right lets see, gotta Nerf Wildfire off Thinkgeek, also some (lots of) Penguin caffeine mints. All very cool. The Kinks, famous ska-ish band of the 70s, kick ass. Bon Jovi kicks ass too. So does David Bowie. In fact anything I listen to kicks ass. So there.

Erm, slowing down now, running out of thoughts. To help my thoughts, send me mail!